Exorcism

Now someone says I'm just a normal guy who likes women. Well that's no secret. There is a natural attraction. They said why am I making out like I don't like my queens or animé? Actually I love my queens and animé and that's no secret either. So they said why don't I like animé girls? I said well I do but it's not my main reason for liking animé. So they said why wasn't I looking for a girlfriend years ago? I said I was. They said why wasn't everything that happened lust? I said I've never had a strong sex drive. I'm kind of asexual. I care more about being friends and connecting. I've always been deep minded. Always wanted to be a monk. Always felt close to the spirit realm. When you're like that physical things fade and lose their appeal. I mostly just use physical substances absentmindedly as a kind of stim. Rocking back and forth. Eating food. Drinking alcohol. Making love. It's all just mechanical. A way of coping with the deep emotions and thoughts I have. The physical rush is a kind of self medication for me. It lightens the burden of carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. But I don't really desire love or snacks or drinks. They're just drugs to me. Medicines. I overused them all. I saw they're all the same. I quit them all first in my teens and wowed my friends. They said I was a light to them. Since then I was always switching between binging and abstaining from everything. Eventually I went total monk like now and am in complete abstinence. That's just me it's who I am. Yeah ladies are pretty. Guys are handsome. I know it. Drink gives a thrill. So do truffles. Yeah I don't deny any of it. All I'm saying is I've always wanted to be a monk. I've never really cared that much about the things of the world. Now I am a monk. Allah is pleased with me because I follow him. He is telling me to share the way with you. You gotta stop thinking everything is about sex and start realising there's more to life. There's a spiritual reality. Angels gods and heaven. I've always been attuned to spirit and it has been my life's work and study. I've always had a penchant for virtue and a keen moral compass. Always been kind and tried to do right by everyone. I care so much about everyone I find it difficult to cope so resort to substances which are just there and mindlessly easy to imbibe to take the weight off and numb my feelings. That's the motive for every sin I've ever done. Nothing has been cruel or premeditated. Just impulsive substance use. I'm a spiritual person. I don't much care about women men gossip the news war or anything like that. My mind is always on spiritual things. Maybe some of you guys don't ever focus on religion so you just see the physical world all the time and think I must be the same but I'm not. Maybe you mistske me for someone who has a lot of schemes and ulterior motives but that's just not me. I'm a spiritual guy here to teach you the ways of the spirit which I know better than any other way such as the worldly ways of corruption competition and selfish desire. Those are not my ways. I'm a holy guy you know. Spiritual. I found this song. Heard it for the first time tonight. I guess it describes the way I feel about all this stuff. It's all sin the lot of it. Drink truffles lust feasts. I never really loved any of it. It was just medicine to cope with emotions. I'm glad to have quit it all. It's nasty stuff. Going without it is the best way. Everyone has their medicine but it's all junk you don't need so give it up with me. It is a bad song and bad vid but it's just for catharsis. This time for my own catharsis. Waving goodbye to the demons of my past. Again. The voices and the demoness. Good riddance. They were never me and now I'm free and want you to be free of them with me. So let the vid exorcise it all out of you like it was once out of me. Then we can follow heaven as a team and set the world free of war making peace on earth for all