Reason I picked up the vengeful vibe is because. Well, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW it was a sign or what the sign said until likers and commenters started sending me death threats in the Gryph's defence
The amount of times I've gotten death threats for doing something I haven't even done, or because something innocent I've said has been misunderstood - too many to count
So you lot knew before me, as is usually the case with social matters. I'm slow to comprehend in that regard
So ONLY after ALL the comments, I saw the sign and it all sank in what it meant and everything. So I went out talking to myself about it all day the next day on my phone. Was gonna upload it that night but TikTok wouldn't listen. So I chopped it into 500 segments and started posting every day. During which time you all thought I was evil. But really I had just verbal diarrhea regurgitated all the hints you guys made in one single day, and was showing you, to give you catharsis. Same thing I've always done
Then the other day in a blogpost, trying to defend myself against your claims I was a evil guy who you shadowbanned, I said, it's the same sort of thing that happened years ago with my exes
So then the goss group went round saying that sounds mildly like what his ex said, to the stake with him, burn him, kill him, no mercyyyyy! Classic villagers with pitchforks and flaming torches situation
So now I gotta say this new public speech to blow out your torches and show you you don't gotta burn me no mercy as I'm a good guy on your side, always have been, always will be
So, when the other day I said it's like what happened years ago, I meant the general mimicry, not the vengeance. So you're focusing on the wrong part of what I said, which is why you've got the wrong idea
When I said that the other day, I didnt mean I was doing a vengeful murder vibe to my two different exes, as that was not the vibe they was giving. Least not at first
The second one later did give a vengeful vibe. But I wasn't vibing with that as a joke I was part of. I was the victim of that, so it didnt feel good for me at all. It felt like the most horrible thing I have ever experienced, and the pain has never since gone away
The vibes I was giving her was lightheartedly romantic blue steel kinda vibes to make her overflow with love for me, and as far as I knew it was working a treat! Felt just the same as it always did for me, with added random echolalia for extra amusement
Literally, I used to make my other ex who probably no one has ever heard about laugh by cracking jokes in the middle of it, or doing impressions in French voices. I just felt totally comfortable with her and didn't feel any bad vibes going on at all. Her face and body language and everything was exactly the same as always
I would never give someone a bad vibe by choice, and never against their will or for pleasure. Only time I used to give bad vibes was when I was mad about something. But I never enjoyed it. I hated feeling mad. I only like good vibes, making everyone happy. If what I'm doing is not making the other person happy, I always stop
I only continued talking to Stella because it wasn't directly. She had the option to listen, and El was telling me to speak
So that's completely different than forcing someone to do something they don't wanna do, or doing something for your own pleasure
I have not wanted to speak to Stella this whole time or write letters, I'm doing it all under heaven's guidance, and heaven has everyone's best interests at heart
If it was up to me, I'd always give fun vibes, as I'm a fun fellow at heart. I hate bad vibes, but can sense, absorb and perform them for the amusement and catharsis of my audience
My ex wasn't a vengeful person, so I did not give any sort of vengeful vibe to her. But when people started hinting recently at murders and vengeance after the sign appeared, I absorbed their vibes, and that's where the Gryphon vid vibe originated
I always prefer lighthearted vibes if it's my choice, because I have a kind heart. But the sort of dark vengeful vibes I felt from the hawklike hinters who watch me like hawks and were hinting at me about the sign they thought was a hint from me but was really a sign from heaven that meant something completely different to what they thought. I gave some of those vibes in the Gryphon vids as I was imitating and performing from and for my hawklike audience
But the vibe for my ex was not unfriendly at all. It was purely for her pleasure. I genuinely loved her and wanted to make her happy. I was living with her and planned to stay with her forever, travel round and save the world with her
I never even had any vengeful vibes back then. That sort of thing never interested me. I have only picked up those vibes in more recent years. The vibes you saw in the Gryph vids
The vibes my ex musta thought I was giving were not at all what she musta thought. It woulda just seemed that way to her because she had a different perspective to me. For me it was a completely innocent and oblivious lighthearted movie skit
I never had a clue how it might affect her. The thing she told me about wasn't even real to me. It was just echolalia fodder. So how can you blame me for something I never even knew I did?
How many times a day do you pull faces you don't know you pull, or talk to yourself, or lose your keys? I know it's a lot because I always ask people why they're pulling a face and they say they're not pulling a face or they didn't know they were pulling a face. So they're all mindless things you're innocent of doing
This thing that is happening to me, where I have had a goss group going round badmouthing me and turning folks against me for fifteen years. It would be like everyone ganging up on you for pulling a face you never knew you pulled and misplacing your keys
Imagine how confused you'd feel and how silly you'd think everyone was being to react to something so trivial. Well that's how I feel
The misunderstood vibe that occurred during lovemaking was nothing to me. I meant nothing by it. I didn't even know I did it. Till she had made me suffer for fifteen years and even now continues. Now I know what happened
She has misunderstood it to mean something it didn't. That's because she went through something I never went through. So knew something I never knew. So had thoughts and feelings I never had, and she can't blame me for that
In summary, I never said anything bad or did anything wrong. It was all one big misunderstanding caused by autism
It may have seemed a certain way to her at the time, and that's understandable, because of what she'd been through, but it wasn't like that for me
I was oblivious for fifteen years, but I have a long memory. So in light of everything that happened since, I thought back through it all, and worked out what musta happened and why, what she was thinking and how she was feeling. But I was never thinking or feeling anything of the sort. I never even knew it was a real thing at the time. Everything was spoof to me
I didn’t joke about that thing she went through specifically. But because I didn't think it was real, I guess I didn't treat it with the seriousness and sympathy she's used to. So that may have raised a red flag for her, but I was totally oblivious
She showed me a pic of her when she was younger. All I thought of it was if you were slim once, you can get slim again, my love. Literally all I thought of it
She told me a story of her and some friends getting molested as kids. I did not picture the girl in the pic getting molested. Nor did I ask to see pics of the other kids
I didn't even think the story was really about her. To me it was the same as if I played a video game and said "I went to fort condor ten years ago and got the phoenix materia." Like you wouldn't think it was me. You'd just assume it was yet another game I'm always on about. You'd have a vague idea in your mind of it, but not really care
As an autistic, so many times we get you and me backwards. I say why are you sad if I'm feeling sad. Or when I made dinner instead of when you made dinner. It's the same thing with movies. I just swap them for me. It's just pronouns. Ask the first chosen about pronouns. She'll be there all day
So when my ex very briefly told me her story with few details, I just had vague shadows in my mind of some movie I had never seen, and didn't know where she was getting her material from. She didn't give many details, and I didn't ask for details, because I didn't care. I just thought it was a joke from a spoof film I hadn't yet seen, and moved swiftly on
I then proceeded to joke and echolalia repeat everything from everywhere as usual. From old films, new films, stuff she said, books, magazines, food labels, signposts, literally everything. I have no filter. I'm autistic. I absorb all words from all sources indifferently
So because of that, I never knew then but realise now, I musta not treated the subject of her real ordeal with the sympathy she was used to. She didn't see it as just more spoof fodder. It was different to her than everything else. But because I treated it like just another joke, it musta hurt and raised red flags for her
I was utterly oblivious the whole time. So when we finally got round to bedroom stuff, and I made some insensitive who's your daddy moves with serious face, it musta been the last straw. She musta snapped under the pressure. A pressure I never knew even existed
I am so innocent. As innocent as a bird chirping in a forest. Even so the hawk hunts it. Innocent I am. I chirped unthinkingly. You've hunted me unthinkingly for fifteen years about it. I think we're more than even. I've paid for my mistake. Time now to move on from it. Wouldn't you all agree?
I've stopped being so chirpy, like a mindless bird just chirping without thinking. Now you guys gotta stop being so hunty, like mindless hawks just hunting without thinking. If I can rise above my animal nature, you can rise above yours, and we can all live in peace together
Not just me and you, but cats and dogs worldwide. Itta be the first step on the path to world peace. That has been my agenda all along. Even back when I was with my ex
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