Phobia

When I got stung online more than a decade ago it affected me. I started having panic attacks. If I saw a kid or a pic of a kid or someone acting like a kid in public I'd freeze up. Wobble. Sweat. Panic. My heart would race. Over time the panic has worn off. Sometimes though it still gets me. Like when I'm hungover. Now I know everyone is watching and looking to me to set an example that puts me under pressure as well. My panic level has especially increased since the waitress incident. I'm trying to stay strong and keep going for you all and I will. But please have a little patience with me if I freeze up from time to time or even every day. It's not desire it's fear. An irrational fear. A phobia. When fear grips you it is difficult to stay focused. But I will try. Then hopefully over time my social skills will improve and I'll get entirely comfortable in all social situations.